This is taken from Ps. Varghese's recent message entitled 'Doing things – God's way or mine'. (Rev. Valson Varghese serves as the Associate Pastor at the New Life Assembly of God Church, Secunderabad and as the National Youth Coordinator for the Assemblies of God of India.)
Here are some of the amazing excuses young people give to justify their relationship with an unbeliever and my scriptural responses to them:
1. The Lord told me to marry this unbeliever
- The Lord will never contradict His Word. He clearly mentions only to marry a believer (II Cor. 6:14).
2. I had confirmation from the Bible regarding this matter
- That's NOT true. You may have picked up some scripture out of context and felt that it was regarding your marriage to an unbeliever.
3. This Man or Woman of God told me to marry this unbeliever.
- No Man or Woman of God is above the Word.
4. Perhaps the Lord wants me to save that person
- Then let Him do it before you get married. You need not disobey the Lord to save them.
5. I know of a person who married an unbeliever and now he believes in Jesus.
- That's an exception and not the rule. (I know few who still remain unbelievers after years of marriage).
6· She is such a beautiful person / He is such a handsome young man
- There are beautiful / handsome believers right in the Church too… in some cases you may need to contact other Churches.
7. No one in my entire Christian circle of friends understands me more than her / him
- Could be true. But try again. If you are willing to spend time with new friends, you'll probably find someone who will understand you.
8. Perhaps the Lord wants me to show mercy on this family since they are poor
- Please show mercy (or help them financially). But DON'T get married.
9. This person has agreed to come to Church and even take Water Baptism
- Your friend will do anything to marry you
10. The unbeliever's parents have agreed to our marriage.
- They may be desperate in trying to get their son / daughter married. And they are only too happy to find a good Christian believer.
11. I can't find a suitable boy / girl in our Church
- Try harder. Many others have been successful.
12. I can’t find a right believer within our Caste / Community
- Pray harder. God has answered and provided a believing Companion for many from within their own community.
13. How can I leave this person since I've known him/her for such a long time
- You need to choose between having your friend Or Obeying God
14. How can I break my promise since I've promised to marry her
- Go to her and sincerely apologize for making a Promise you can't keep. If you keep your promise to your friend, you willfully disobey God's Word.
15 This family is not taking any dowry from us
- I know of many Christian young men who will not take dowry either.
16. My parents feel it's OK since I haven't found a right believer thus far
- It may be OK with your parents but it's NOT AT ALL OK with your God.
17. We've got formally engaged.
- Go and break the engagement even if people will talk about it. You don't need to get married and repent all your life. DO IT NOW.
18. We've already been sexually intimate and I can't leave him now.
- You've already committed a sin. Go to God and sincerely seek His forgiveness. Do not commit another mistake by marrying him and raising an unbelieving family.
19. She threatened to commit suicide if I don't marry her now.
- You must not let her emotionally threaten you. She may use this method to get anything done in married life. If she does commit suicide, it's between her and her god. You can't let a threat cause you to disobey God.
20· I have total peace about this matter (Thus it could be God's will)
- Since you are already in love, you may feel peace. Just the feeling of peace may not always be an indicative of the will of God for you. Your feeling should line up with the Word.
Now that you've read this article, you are now responsible for the decisions you make regarding who you marry. I Corinthians 7:39b says 'She is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he MUST be in the Lord.'
Your act of obedience can save you years of pain and sorrow. God has a better plan than the best we have for ourselves.
